using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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