we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
