Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
