My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
