I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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