You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its not stalking. its research.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize