i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
