Betty ford says i'm here all night
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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