i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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