Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
