that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm passing your future prison.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
