yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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