If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
