OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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