Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So many bounce houses so little time
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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