just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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