Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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