Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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