Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
