It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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