What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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