Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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