and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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