I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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