Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
