Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
