she woke up with a sticky ear
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
