just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
