I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize