Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
