in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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