yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
