dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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