did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize