p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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