I want to stick my p in your. b.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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