Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
