So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
