It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
