And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
