Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
