Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
