It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
