Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
