my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
