Pregnant stripper...not hot.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
