never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
