Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
