My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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