there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
