He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
