is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
