Your face is a jimmy john
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
