so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
