just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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