OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
