Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
