Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize