Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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