just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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