It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
