she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Randomize
