so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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