its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
