Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time

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(416): View more from Ontario

Thursdays are my worst days

(1-416): View more from Ontario

but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

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(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.

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(773): View more from Illinois

It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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(707): View more from California

I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.

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(707): View more from California

Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???

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