She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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