Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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