I'm passing your future prison.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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