is your mom at the bar?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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